people who exercise in order to get rid of period cramps are the ones surviving the apocalypse.
she reaches down seductively. I guide her hand to my zipper. she unzips my fanny pack by mistake. raviolis spill out everywhere
Things I refuse to feel ashamed of:
- mirror selfies
- gym selfies
- all selfies
- pouty faces (is it wrong that I like my lips to look juicier??)
- appreciating that hot people are hot
- eating twice as much as a quarterback on occasion
- that sometimes I like wearing sweatpants and staying in
- that other times I enjoy wearing a lot of makeup and going out
- liking pop music - there is a reason pop is pop and it is because it’s popular
The full moon goes up and out come the fangs and the claws and there’s a lot of howling and screaming and running everywhere, okay? And it’s very stressful on me and so yes, I’m still locking you up.
Calum Hood: Trying to distract drivers with his stripper body and cause car crashes since 96’What drivers i see no cars
they’re dead bc calum’s body didnt you listen
i don’t “dress to impress” i dress to depress i wanna look so good that people hate themselves
DONT GO THRU OLD CONVERSATIONS WITH SOMEONE WHO U USED TO BE CLOSE WITH
Worlds largest mozzarella stick!
stick it up my ass
This movie makes me cry every time I watch it
what movie is this please
Alarms will ring for eternity, the waves will break every chain on me. My bones will bleach. My flesh will flee. So help my lifeless frame to breathe.
why can’t we go back
the good old days
i would trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday
that was beautiful you should become a poet